A Study of Opposites

An excerpt from my meditative writing, March 2025:

I am a study of opposites, a container full to overflowing with things that would seem incapable of coexistence. Rather than cancel each other out, they rise together, rogue waves echoing into a tsunami that threatens to destroy everything I am, everything I know.

I quake in fear. I open my arms to welcome the destruction.

I am hope and dreams, determination and dedication. I can see my desired future with a clarity that pierces my eyes. I can feel it in my bones, hear it being scribed on the pages of my destiny.

I am loss and lassitude, frustration and foundering. I find it hard to care about any of this. I a tired of dreaming dreams and seeing visions that exist only in my mind.

I am mighty. I am fallen.

I long to soar in the ethers, a high-vibrational comet trailing pink pixels of magic. I would be like the Pied Piper, calling others to fly alongside me. Together we would burn a hole in the world.

I long to dig deep into the Earth, where she is cold and dark. An absence of vibration, the quiet of a coma. I would be like an artifact never sought or found. Alone I would sink into nothingness, unnoticed and glad of it.

I am potential. I am spent.

I want it all. I am weary of wanting.

I know so much. I have no useful knowledge.

I long to laugh. I ache to cry.

I am buoyed by belief. I am crippled with doubt.

I am action. I am stagnation.

I am full to bursting with these contradictions.

I feel empty of all life.

In this maelstrom there is only one viable action. I hold myself gently. I breathe in. I breathe out. I let the hope soar, the despair whisper from the depths. I enjoy the light of my dreams, like sunshine in the spring. I expand into the darkness of my horror, winter's deepest chill.

I feel all of it.

I accept.

I surrender.

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This piece flowed from my depths to the page during a radical 30-day writing experiment I think of as "heavy journaling." I will be inviting others to engage in the same experience in my upcoming virtual community, The Emergence Collective. To be the first to know when doors open and receive one of my favorite guided meditations, join the Priority Notification list. There's no obligation. Just opportunity. (And free stuff.)