At 3:00 a.m. on the 13th of June, I entered a 36-hour state of sensory deprivation. After blocking all light sources from my space, I slipped in ear plugs and went deep into the heart of darkness. Below are the thoughts I recorded, in roughly chronological order. I wake at 8:00 a.m. I know what time it is because I have light leaks. I have to get up and fix them. I will need to turn on a lamp. I feel disappointed, like I have lost a contest of some sort. Eventually I go back to sleep. When I...

My mother and I are discussing plans for Christmas dinner. I will have a full house, including my parents and a long-time friend staying with us. "Now," says Mom, "I don't want you running yourself ragged, trying to do everything." I literally laughed out loud. What an absolutely ludicrous thing to say. That's simply not who I am. I said as much, and after we hung up, I found myself puzzled. Why would my mother ever imagine me behaving that way? And then I realized... I would behave that...

An excerpt from my meditative writing, March 2025: I am a study of opposites, a container full to overflowing with things that would seem...